Talking to Lily Last Week (un: Nanashi)

[justonezero]

i was wrong. i really did talk to lily last week. or dv, or cubia, or whatever the name of that voice is.

when i said people should be able to return to reality, he said it was illogical to think people would be able to find happiness through others outside. and that it doesn't make sense for me to have hope for the world even though people outside hate me

he also decided that he likes me, so he decided to keep me. and since i called myself garbage, he said he'd fix me, but i'm so broken he wondered if it was better to break me down and make something new... i don't really know what he meant by those.

before he stopped talking, he told me he was giving me a gift so i could know what true happiness is. i think that's why i forgot how much people in reality hate me. ...i think he wanted to show how much happier i'd be if i stayed in the game and forgot about the outside world. but now that i remember it all, i don't want to stay here. so i guess that didn't work.

did anyone else who talked to him lose something too? and has it come back yet?

Comments

un: vogel

[insinning]

Nanashi. I'm sorry. But I'm glad you remember now. [screw you fd for trying to gaslight everyone]

hani - tabibito - had their heart replaced. i don't know if he'll give it back

i still have a missing memory. maybe more than one

[justonezero]

thank you

what do you mean by heart replaced?

and i don't know if anything else is still missing. just the ones that went missing after i talked to him... his "gift." it doesn't feel like anything's missing, but i couldn't tell when he took away the others last week either, so i could be wrong.

[insinning]

They had Cubia's "happiness". They told me that Cubia gave them his name, so they could feel what he feels.

un: ramiel

[aphonik]

quick question what the actual fuck

[justonezero]

i heard a voice last week and i talked to it, and all of that happened. so um, maybe don't talk back if you just hear someone? and definitely don't call yourself trash in front of it, either!

[aphonik]

[ on god.... ]

why the hell did you talk back to it in the first place. thats like mental illness 101

un: Mithrun1

[tablescraps]

( u followed mithrun's suggestion... he cares this one )

You got your memories back, in the end?

[justonezero]

looks like it.

not here

[gluttoning]

[It's illogical to think people would be able to find happiness through others outside, huh...?

...

At least he knows better than to respond. But his head aches even thinking about it.

What is he supposed to think?]

un: fandaniel

[trollophoroi]

Lily. Call him Lily, please.

[ Fandaniel doesn't know Nanashi well apart from an idle glance back during the CC Corp meeting. A latecomer to the test? Likely, but that means there is no entrenched disdain for this one. ]

So you were displeased with the outcome of his gift?

[justonezero]

ok

and yeah... even if he was trying to get rid of all my bad memories, there are still good things that happened in them. i don't want to lose those.

if you lost your memories of everything bad that happened to you, would you be happier?

and if you knew the alternative, would you decide to get rid of them for good?

un: Winter

[userunfriendly]

The choice between a world that despises you as you are, and one that discards everything you are to show you "happiness." Compelling.

Re: un: Winter

[justonezero]

which one would you pick?

not here

[secondthoughts]

[ WHY ARE THERE SO MANY DEPRESSED AND ABUSED CHILDREN IN THIS GAME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON ]

un: Memoir

[murrmoire]

I'm glad you gained your memories back, Nanashi.

Was it a difficult choice for you, to decide you'd rather leave than stay in a world where you can be happy?

Re: un: Memoir

[justonezero]

not really

i was having a harder time picking when i was missing my memories, actually

un: updeto

[deto]

[ he knows most of that, but he’ll answer that last bit. it’s something he’s been wondering too ]

I don’t know if I’ve lost anything. Do I seem different from when we first met?

[justonezero]

i don't think so?

[Hmmm...]

what do you think about buying some fancy bento when we get outside?

un: Owen

[sicklysweet]

do you honestly think it matters whether you're in here or not? you are you are you.

people will despise you or like you regardless of how many pieces are left and if it's a game or reality, so does it really matter where you are or what you have left of yourself?

Re: un: Owen

[justonezero]

it does matter

because not everyone can be in one world or the other

plus

i don't want to be missing parts of myself if it means losing important things

un: fuurin

[glassbell]

I let him take away one of my memories because I was missing the one after it. He said that was CyberConnect's fault.

He also said I'm not getting that memory he's taking away back, but the circumstances are different from yours, I think. I told him he could erase it because it made trying to survive here difficult without whatever the missing memory did for me.

un: hana

[threatmewted]

[Oh goddammit Fury.]

Why would you do that?

[justonezero]

was it a bad memory?

un: miladynoir

[rebelles]

I don't think it's wrong for you to have hope for the outside world. Even if returning to our real lives can be painful, the choice should be ours.

[justonezero]

i wish i could make the others understand too... especially if he's trying to make it seem like there isn't anything good out there, when really, there is!