Talking to Lily Last Week (un: Nanashi)

[justonezero]

i was wrong. i really did talk to lily last week. or dv, or cubia, or whatever the name of that voice is.

when i said people should be able to return to reality, he said it was illogical to think people would be able to find happiness through others outside. and that it doesn't make sense for me to have hope for the world even though people outside hate me

he also decided that he likes me, so he decided to keep me. and since i called myself garbage, he said he'd fix me, but i'm so broken he wondered if it was better to break me down and make something new... i don't really know what he meant by those.

before he stopped talking, he told me he was giving me a gift so i could know what true happiness is. i think that's why i forgot how much people in reality hate me. ...i think he wanted to show how much happier i'd be if i stayed in the game and forgot about the outside world. but now that i remember it all, i don't want to stay here. so i guess that didn't work.

did anyone else who talked to him lose something too? and has it come back yet?

Comments

[justonezero]

was it a bad memory?

[glassbell]

Yeah. I can still remember the bad memory before it, so if this one was worse and I lost the years it took to get over it in a core memory, I'm not going to regret that choice.

[justonezero]

...does that mean you did get over it eventually, though? and you lost that...?

[glassbell]

Something like that.

[ Scrolls back up to Nanashi's post. Thinks. Scrolls back down. ]

My more recent memories are torn up into pieces... But I'm pretty sure I lived alright despite all that. Nothing fancy, but I was happy with it.

[justonezero]

does anyone know why we're losing our memories? other than when lily takes them

[glassbell]

Do you want what Lily told me?

[justonezero]

yes please

[glassbell]

He said it was part of an experiment, and that it always CC Corp's plan to get rid of our memories, so that we're easier to manipulate.

We're guinea pigs.

[justonezero]

but it was definitely lily who took my memory and it sounds like he definitely took yours too?

[glassbell]

He could be lying. Did you lose your memories with each patch?

[justonezero]

not sure. but i lost a bunch of my memories right after i talked to him for sure, and it lines up with everything he was talking about.

[glassbell]

He... did ask if I felt complete after taking my memory. Which is weird, and maybe a bit unsettling.

[justonezero]

complete?

do you have any idea what that's supposed to mean?

[glassbell]

If you combine it with asking if I'm happy...

Then I guess by complete... if this is the perception of the world or life I want.

[justonezero]

is it what you want?

[glassbell]

I think so.

[justonezero]

you aren't sure?

[glassbell]

I don't remember the memory but I'm gonna assume it was very distracting at least. For right now, I am doing alright. But I know I'm not complete, I was willing to throw away a bit of myself for it.

[justonezero]

you wouldn't prefer to have all your memories back instead?

[glassbell]

ideally, I'd like them all back, yes.

You made a choice like that?

[justonezero]

i don't think i did... or at least, i didn't know that was the choice i was making?

i'm glad you haven't given up on your memories, though.

[glassbell]

I'll cherish what I have. It's not like I want to make a new life here when it's almost killed me.

[justonezero]

good.

that's good.